So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize