I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize