Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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