How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
