he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
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