it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
