No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
