Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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