No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
