Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
