are you so shy because you have an std?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
