Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
