he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
