Do you still have your period?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Randomize
