I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
