I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
