if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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