i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
