respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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