She said her name was "party"
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
