My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
