Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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