Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Soap is not a condiment
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
