You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
