apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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