so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
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I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
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She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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