you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
