gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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