I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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