I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
