Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
