He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
