Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
