This girl is more easily done than said...
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
