I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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