Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
