I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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