We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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