fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
