New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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