I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
