Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize