using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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