This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
