did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You're a waste of cheezeits
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
