Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
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When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
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Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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