I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
