if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
