the condom got lost in my hair
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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