He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
