He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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