I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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