U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
