can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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