I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
