ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
