Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize