oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize