I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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