he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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