Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
