This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
