so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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