please come you make the beer taste better
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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