After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
