just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
