so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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