found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
