I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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